I hate writing posts that expose sex offenders. First, it means that someone was sexually assaulted, which is tragic. Second, as an advocate for reforming sex offender laws it hurts our cause whenever a sexual offender receives exposure.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, there’s such a sense of  conflict when writing about police officers or teachers charged with a sexual crime. We include these stories because it is critically important for parents to realize that children can become victims of sexual abuse at the hands of someone trusted, just like a police officer or their teacher. In fact, overwhelmingly statistics prove that these crimes take place at the hands of someone trusted, like a family member or friend, not by some stranger on a list.

Even though the fate of his family’s TV show is uncertain at this time, what we do know is that Josh Duggar will likely never be prosecuted for his crimes and will never have to wear the “Sex Offender” brand or be subject to a lifetime of restrictions. Ironically, another Josh; Josh Gravens, does. Mr. Gravens was one of the juveniles featured in Nicole Pittman’s Human Rights Watch report, Raised On the Registry. When Josh GRAVENS was TWELVE, he inappropriately touched his younger sister. When Josh DUGGAR was FIFTEEN he inappropriately touched FIVE children, four of which were his sisters.

In the sixteen years since his offense, Josh Gravens had been imprisoned for four years as a child been subjected to restrictions on where he can live, who he can associate with, suffered from chronic unemployment (even though he is a Soros Justice Scholar) and arrested just last year for misunderstanding a vague ordinance.  In the twelve years since the Duggar molestations, he’s gone on to star in a successful reality show, served as a political consultant before accepting a job as the Executive Director of the Family Research Council in Washington, where he lives freely with his Wife and children.

So what makes Josh Gravens a sex offender when Josh Duggar is not? Arguably at 15, Duggar should have been more responsible than Gravens at 12. Duggar’s culpability should have been greater, having abused 5 minors to Graven’s one. Both crimes were reported to authorities, but the more offensive wasn’t prosecuted, where the lesser was. Why is Josh Gravens a sex offender, while Josh Duggar is not? With the Adam Walsh Act requiring that states register juveniles, one third of those on the registry are or were minors when their offenses were committed. Why is it that their lives were forever ruined, while Josh Duggar went on to great success? They did the same things, right? When is a “sex offender” not a “sex offender”?

Speaking of the Adam Walsh Act; Adam Walsh’s father, John Walsh, is a household name. Since the tragic abduction of his son, John Walsh has become a fierce advocate for criminal justice. He had a successful career as host of “America’s Most Wanted” and fought for laws punishing sex offenders. But did you know John Walsh is a sex offender himself? It’s true! He started dating his wife while she was 16 and he was in his 20’s as reported in his interview on the Biography Channel. There are tens of thousands of individuals on sex offender registries nationwide for what are called “Romeo and Juliet” relationships, where a statutory age of consent line turns consensual relationships amongst peers into sex offenses. Like John Walsh, Virgil McCranie went on to marry his underage girlfriend and have children, but unlike Walsh who went on to have a successfull career, McCranie was repeatedly fired from retail jobs after it was discovered he was on the registry. There are tens of thousands in similar situations! Why is it that their lives were forever ruined, while John Walsh went on to great success? They did the same things, right? When is a “sex offender” not a “sex offender”?

Another parent of a victim after which our residency restrictions were created is a sex offender. Mark Lunsford, father of Jessica Lunsford, was looking at child pornography on his home computer the night his daughter disappeared. To add to the irony, a few years after her abduction, her brother Josh Lunsford, was arrested for molesting a 14 year old girl. Josh Lunsford, as an adult, did far worse than Josh Gravens. Why is that sex offender not a “sex offender”? With Child Pornography prosecutions soaring over the last couple decades, there are tens of thousands of individuals sitting in prison and serving lifetimes on the registry for doing exactly what Mark Lunsford did. So why are they pariahs while Mark Lusford is such a vocal, politically connected and highly compensated child advocate? They did the same things, right? When is a “sex offender” not a “sex offender”?

If you’re a registered citizen, friend or family of a registered citizen, you should be reading this post and thinking to yourself. ‘WTF?!?’ If the reason for a public “sex offender” registry is to keep children safe, why are some sex offenders not “sex offenders”? It’s pretty ironic that some of the most outspoken advocates for family values and sex offender punishment are sex offenders themselves, isn’t it?