I also disconnected my doorbell. LE can’t even see my property let alone access it without calling first now. 🙃

“Your victim suffered PTSD; why shouldn’t you feel it also?”

Or even, “you intended to do something that would have caused PTSD; why shouldn’t you feel it so you learn your lesson?”

Or even, “you were a participant in contributing to someone’s PTSD; shouldn’t you feel it as a reminder to refrain from that activity?”

Or (directed at family members), “I’m so sorry, but the fault lies entirely with your loved one for causing you to have to go through this.”

Sometimes these are strongly-held beliefs; more often they are just assumptions made by the vast majority that have no experience with the registry.

FAC tends to be a safe place for registrants and their families to share experiences. But there’s an inherent tension between that role and FAC’s mission of educating the public.

Without minimizing sex convictions, have any FAC members successfully persuaded someone who holds the above position(s), to soften their position? Have you ever persuaded someone that registrant PTSD, contrary to their prior assumptions, is unjustified? If so, how?

One thought I haven’t tested: PTSD probably increases one’s risk to re-offend. And no one wants that, right?

I realize that raising the above discussion question won’t win me many friends. We just have to remind ourselves how people think outside our bubble, and what we’re up against.

“I get terrified when the bell rings and I quickly think that the guys in green are coming for me.” Sir, you’re not alone. I disconnected my door Belk because it was so traumatic. The only visitors I get are probation officers and deputies who do their residency checks. Now they all have to call me in advance. It gives me a feeling of power over my own life. This is how I adapted.

Yes, I’ve wondered about that myself over the years. And when you confront people about their beliefs on a regular basis then you really have an opportunity to consider if you are being “productive” and like the results. I’ve had lots of opportunities to see the results and reactions firsthand and directly. And of course, I’ve adjusted my actions over the years to try to get better results.

I’d love to see a study of what you are talking about. Anecdotally, I’ve found you are right to a large extent, in that people haven’t thought much about it. Which I think is even more of a reason to take any opportunity to discuss it with them and get them to pick a position, good or bad. Frankly, I think most people living in America have some opinions on anything and everything, even if they know nothing about it. I have found that with the Oppression Lists (OLs) as well – they may just be “latent” opinions that they never have really thought about much.

I have found that most people are fine having a discussion about it and don’t feel “pressure” “to take a position”, as you said. Although most business owners and partners do not want to have anything to do with it. But I definitely want to know about them. I have no intention of helping to enrich someone who thinks the OLs are acceptable. I’m not interested in helping them succeed.

It is also important to me to know about people that I might consider to be a friend or to be around my family. I have no interest in having Registry Supporters around us. If a person knows about the OLs and still supports them, you can bet they are an ahole. So I’m definitely going to find out about those people.

It is very important to me. I pay attention and there are other reasons I won’t do business with people. If I walk into a business and see certain flags or signs hanging up, I leave. If I know they take certain positions, I stay away from them.

A lot of people and businesses aren’t interested in thinking about the OLs or caring about their effects. THAT is what has allowed the harassment to exist. Rampant apathy. Few people care unless it affects them. I think we should force people to think about it and at least educate them a little. Then let them choose.

I considered it 20 years ago and have been doing it ever since. I made it my mission to make it very worthwhile for people to be part of my world – as friends, partners, suppliers, customers, whatever. Those people have gotten a lot out of it. Today, I have a lot to give. I help everyone in my world, to a fault. I shun everyone outside of it. If a person, business, or whatever does not actively renounce the Oppression Lists, I renounce them and make that matter. It has real impacts in the real world. I’ll call it “cancel culture”. If you support big government Oppression you get canceled. I was practicing it before it became so popular.

Most people outside our bubble don’t have much opinion on registries one way or the other. Don’t pressure them to take a position— educate them.

This is surely an idea worth considering, Will Allen and Daphne.

I love what you are doing. You definitely put some thoughts into my mind about where I will take my future business. Thanks. 🙂