The men file in, a few wearing pressed button-down shirts, others jeans caked in mud from work on a construction site. They meet in the living room of an old taupe bungalow on a leafy street in a small Southern city.
Someone has shoved a workout bike into the corner to make room for a circle of overstuffed chairs dug up at the local Goodwill. The men jockey for a coveted recliner and settle in. They are complaining about co-workers and debating the relative merits of various trucks when a faint beeping interrupts the conversation. One man picks up a throw pillow and tries to muffle the sound of the battery running low on his ankle bracelet, a reminder of why they are all there.
Every one of the eight men in the room has been convicted of a sex crime and mandated by a court to see a therapist. Depending on the offense, their treatment can last several months or several years. (TIME has given both the men and the therapists pseudonyms in this story.)
MJ – you said “Most women are wired to think through the filter of their emotions first, unlike men who think with a logic filter. Blast me all you want, but it’s a proven fact.” Proven fact? Show me…? And only men think logically? Oh my, that has got to the most sexist bunch of doo-doo I have ever heard. You are taking about thinking logically while spouting one of the most illogical things I have ever read.
I have a question – why is everyone dumping on Bruce? While I think he could have been a little more eloquent with his choice of words he was trying to point out to MJ that he was doing the I am better than those “real sex offenders” – I hate that too and it is and will remain one of my pet peeves.
Lots of good comments on here. And a few other things, that may or not be agreed upon by others, but I don’t care, I’m saying it anyway.
But as you can see, and what I’m experiencing even in my own group, is that they lump us all together in one group in therapy just like they do on the registry. So here I am, a victim of one of Florida’s infamous scam sting operations, and I’m in therapy sitting next to the guy that molested his 12 year old granddaughter. Not to pass judgment or anything. But what’s acinine is we had to write a letter to our “victim” in group. And I’m like, who the hell is my victim? My case didn’t even involve and actual minor? I was told to “make one up.” Can you believe that?
Another issue is, I am at my 50% mark of probation in June and that is the standard time for when you can file a motion to get it terminated. I have done that, and my group therapy place will not release me from therapy. Of course, being out of therapy is one of the main things the prosecutor wants to know before he signs off on the motion. So, I’ve literally finished all my “assignments” and have done all that I was asked to do, and I’m STILL being dragged through the mud.
And, oh boy, this one might get me in trouble, but I don’t care. After reading this article, I don’t understand WHY FEMALE THERAPSITS ARE ALLOWED TO TREAT MALE SEX OFFENDERS??!! Most women are wired to think through the filter of their emotions first, unlike men who think with a logic filter. Blast me all you want, but it’s a proven fact. So I just feel that SOME, NOT ALL female therapists have a built-in emotional bias AGAINST these men before they even walk in the room. When I read the article I was appalled at the part that mentioned the guy who got on his knees before the “Almighty Feminist Therapist” and begged her forgiveness and told her how f–ked up he was. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It’ll be a cold day in hell before I did something like that! And the article also said that one of the female therapist they talked about heard one of the guys stories and “had to run out of the room to throw up.” OK, I understand there are some really messed up situations therapists have to deal with, but if you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen. As I’ve stated before on here, I had a female therapist for 3 years until she died in a car wreck 6 months ago. All she did was yell at, berate, humiliate, and shame the men in our group. She was arrogant and prideful and every time we would offer advice to someone she would say “who’s the therapist here?” “Can I be the therapist?” Like, WTF?? And heaven forbid if anyone failed their polygraph with her! She would go ballistic. It was ridiculous. Well, we now have a male therapist since she passed away and the difference in group has been night and day. We feel like we can openly talk about our personal issues because he’s a “guy” and we feel like he can relate.
**Now if the shoe was on the other foot I’d feel the same way. If it was an all female group, I think a female therapist would be better suited for that group also.
But to further prove my point, the lawyer doing my probation motion is a female and she is STRONG and I really, really like her. But even SHE had to admit to me that she didn’t mind doing my motion because my case was one that didn’t involve and actual child or victim. But she admittedly told me that if it was someone who had an actual young victim, it would be difficult for her. And I wanted to say, OK BUT, you’re a lawyer. If people pay you for your service, you have to fight for them no matter what. Of course, she can always refuse to take their case, but again, it just shows the emotional bias females have because obviously they have a nurturing nature when it comes to kids more so then men do. So, I’m sure I’ll get blasted for this comment a la Kanye West-style. But this is America and I have the right to my opinion. And that’s just my opinion on the article. But I’m glad it’s at least giving exposure to it. As far as how therapy goes, that’s pretty accurate. Good job TIME. I’m impressed.
I’m in therapy sitting next to the guy that molested his 12 year old granddaughter.
I wonder MJ how old was your intended victim? How many intended victim’s were you successful at molesting? Was this your 1st time you ever tried to molest a minor?
Stop with the self righteous bullshit Bruce. Never seen you on here before. You must be a troll. People like you are part of our problem too. I’ll tell you the details about my case when you tell me about yours. A$$hole.
I think what Bruce – regardless of who he/she is, trying to say is that you are kicking down a guy just to help justify yourself. I read your entire post and it seems desperate and all over the place. Defending your own case when you should be defending everyone in this situation regardless of the details of their own personal case. Kicking down a guy just to make you look innocent is not cool. Not cool at all. I don’t give a shit what he did. Because in my eyes, you’re both in therapy, just like I was in therapy as well. You either defend our cause as a whole or get the fuck out of here.!
I owned up to what I did. I was sentenced and successfully finished. Not once did I complain. I kept my focus on the goal. I knew what I had to do to successfully complete it and I did it without taking down anyone else in the process.
Have a great weekend.
Agree!
You people are crazy. I even said I do not pass judgement on any of the guys in there because I’m in there too. I was further commenting on how good the article was and highlighting the problems with group therapy. My point in the first paragraph is that group therapy should be separated into categories. Sting operation guys in one group. Guys with Victims under 12 in another and so on. That was point. Dear God so sue me for not making that more clear. The second paragraph was to point out how they keep you in there just for the money with open ended curriculum. And my main point was that I just don’t think it’s the best thing for a female therapist to deal with male sex offenders if they aren’t emotionally strong enough to handle it. Furthermore, that’s what frustrates me about our “camp. ” were supposed to be in this fight together, but if some of us have a different opinion or a different style like Derek logue we distance ourselves from them and talk about how we don’t agree with their words or methods. Also, I’m pretty sure all of us have taken responsibility for the ONE mistake we made and paid the price for. But that doesn’t mean we have to sit back and cower in fear or put up with the govt bullcrap and let them just trample all over our civil liberties and drag us out in therapy and add law upon law that we should just bend over and say yes massa and not get pissed about it. So hopefully now I spelled out things mire clearly in my first post.
Actually Bruce I take that back. You’re not a troll. You sound like a government contracted therapist. And that’s probably what you are trolling us on here.
@MJ
Hey friend, and I have read enough on here to call you my friend, I have to agree with the others. We don’t need to tear each other down. I went through therapy too, and the polygraph, and the limits on being around a minor. All of this before SORNA. In fact, all of this before Smith v. Doe. But we are all in this together. No one is better than another and no one is worse just because they had contact. We’re here to fight for our freedom and our rights….that’s all man. Our freedom and our rights. We can all do this together no matter what got us on “the list”.
Bruce , there is no need to an asshole. Climb back into your hole and stop the self righteous bullshit
Bruce, you are way out of line. Someone needs to reel you back in. This platform, ( my personal opinion) is to discuss and vent about bad lawmaking, bad lawmakers and bad government and how we might help change the current laws that weigh us down. Not try and degrade each other, because like it or not WE are in this fight together.
And MJ, you’ll do good to remember…. you are one of us too. You don’t have a victimless crime. Even if it was a CP sting THERE WERE VICTIMS. So don’t think you are any better than the person sitting next to you….. Because you’re not. Help the fight to end the registry, and don’t worry about what one guy did or didn’t do. As I said before we are in this together.
Very good article and by Time Magazine itself.
” In October, the Supreme Court will consider a complicated case challenging the federal laws that govern some sex offenders. The decision could allow hundreds of thousands of convicted offenders to move more easily across state lines and eventually remove their names from the sex-offender registry. ”
Are they talking about the Gundy Vs. United States case ? It’s the only one I know and can think of.
What I do not understand and never have is if the people in charge of the law makings say sex offenders can not be rehabilitated/cured/fixed then why force them into treatment? It is just another mind boggling/bazaar subject of the people in charge.
That’s not what I don’t get the most. What is mind boggling to me is that you finish your probation and your court ordered sex offender treatment – both successfully, but you still have to register and be monitored. If I’m off probation and finished the therapy, why Am I still treated as a risk by still having to register for life ? That’s what probation and court ordered therapy is for and to determine whether you are or not. Is probation and court therapy not enough, are the officers and therapist so incompetent at their jobs – even with 20-30+ years experience – that they can’t tell who is dangerous or not ? Mind boggling and bazaar.
All sex offenders are predators and vice versa. That’s the way media want it. That’s the way legislators want it. Thats the way vicitms want it. And thats the way prosecutors want it. But that’s NOT the way of reality. It’s what they all are turning into our daily reality.
What happens in reality is that many people are forced to take plea deals to avoid draconian sentences for crimes they may actually be innocent of commiting. What of them in sex offenders therapy? What about those who are found guilty based on false testimony? Well, they too wind up in court ordered “therapy” that is offered by government contractors who answer to or work along side of probation officers. it’s such a rigged system.
a central point that seems to be missing from this particular discourse is the chasm of difference in culpabilities for differing sex offenses.
The current legal assumption of sex offender “treatment” assumes that anyone convicted of any type of sex offense is going to attack somebody at some time in the future without “treatment”. it’s the old “minority report” explanation – incarcerate the suspect before he has a chance to commit a crime, or send them to brainwashing class where you can turn him into a mirror image of the Manchurian candidate. Some types of political dissent have now been criminalized to the point where the First Amendment is meaningless. Current methods of “treatment” unfortunately prove what Sir Winston Churchill opined about the American character during World War II: “Americans will always do the right thing – but only after they have tried all the wrong things first.”
Any citizen never convicted – especially those never even charged – with a physically violent event, or even a non-contact offense should never be forced into a regimen of treatment he or she does not believe in, and further believes that he or she not only does not want the treatment but does not need it. This is a fundamental constitutional right outlined by SCOTUS in “Cruzan v. the director, Department of Health, Missouri”.
The court said explicitly that competent adults have a constitutional right to refuse medical care. Eight of the nine justices, all but Justice Scalia, recognized such a right.Chief Justice Rehnquist, writing the opinion of the court, said “the principle that a competent person has a constitutionally protected liberty interest in refusing unwanted medical treatment may be inferred from our prior decisions.”
In other words, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
^Insightful and a unique perspective that I haven’t hear on here before. People need to remember the most important point of all: the ONLY reason these laws have been upheld is because of the mis-representation of information by a prosecutor in 2003 of a psychologist/author/therapy group leader’s personal observations in a Psychology Today article. THAT alone nullifies the Registry. This means that for all intents and purposes, ALL of the current Sex Offenders laws are ILLEGAL because they are a modern day SLAVERY SCHEME. The entire foundation of the Registry was hanging in the balance of those 3 words “high and frightening”, which disintegrated once the author officially stated that his own words were taken out of context and used in a way that was based on False Information. That’s it. Everyone who continues to perpetuate such a scheme of human rights violations under the guise of “authority told me to do it” should be tried in a court of law just like the criminals who participated in human rights violations of Germany during the Nazi regime. There is NO difference except for the level of severity of those violations. PLEASE someone prove me wrong, I would love to hear it.