Have you thought about leaving USA for a Caribbean country? Start a new life, you don’t need much money to do that in some countries! Think about it!

@finished. You have my permission to back away from the edge. Stand up, chest out, chin up.
You obviously have writing skills. Your thoughts are organized.
You are aware of your surroundings.
You are not unique. You’re not alone. You have potential to become better. Last ditch efforts are not needed. Small efforts over time is the answer.

@P
If you commit suicide, the assholes win.
Also, if you kill yourself, you are going to have more issues than you did on Earth when you have no explanation of why God should allow you in His heaven. They say the only unforgivable sin is denying God, but the scriptures do allude to others and I believe suicide is an unforgivable sin since you took that power away from the Father because your free will made the choice of where you spend eternity.
Christ died for us, the least we can do is live for Him. And believe me, I have been in that darkest moments myself where I wanted to jump off a cliff. But I did not let the evil one control me and I was victorious over the power of Lucifer and his minions.

@Finished

My favorite saying from the Movie “Shawshank Redemption” says, “Get busy living or get busy dying”.

I’m glad to see some of you have been able to find some solice. For me,  good days are fewer and fewer, support is non-existent or unaffordable. The target i walk around with on my back and chain around my neck is not a realistic life to expect someone to live. . I was sexually abused as a child and thought I had put it behind me, but was wrong. I thought I would be OK 10 yrs after a 30 day sentence for a mistake in my state, but was wrong ( I visited FL while on probation and was added to their list) . I’ve lost my wife, family, kids, friends and livelihood being on this list. 

My last ditch effort was looking for a state that I can survive off grid alone because life in this society is unsustainable mentally and i was looking for a change. A recent article on here about travel to other states completely changed my plans. The very next crisis will be the last one. 

We need more money for lawyers. We need a fund raiser. It’s not healthy for us to carry this burden of debt to society beyond a normal sentence. We feel like targets.

I had thoughts of suicide this past year. It’s the major depression that sets in. This story is a terrible tragedy that shouldn’t have happened. I will pray for his soul and afterlife. I pray he is reincarnated into a freedom.

As far as going to DC vigil. We would need to hire professional protection to feel comfortable. The political climate is very fluid at the moment. Very much in flux. The Constitution has taken a beating. A lot of good people deserve a better life. Now.

Thanks God that you are enjoying a new day,never give up, God is good,just be patient.