The “Brevard County Business Self-Certification Registry” is ridiculous!

In 2022, Brevard County Commissioners passed an ordinance allowing private businesses where “children gather and recreation occurs” to self-certify as “parks”. This voluntary registration on the Brevard County Business Self-Certification Registry creates a 1,000-foot buffer zone where registered sex offenders and predators are legally barred from entering.

In preparation for our forthcoming lawsuit, we examined the patchwork of County and municipal ordinances that were adopted on top of the already severely restrictive state law, to analyze their cumulative effect on persons forced to register. In doing so, Brevard came up and just out of curiosity, we did a quick check to see what businesses self-certified themselves as parks.

Now you’d think these “places where children gather and recreation occurs” might logically include an arcade, a roller skating rink, maybe a comic book store or a martial arts studio that has an after-school program. But here are just some of the businesses that signed up:

• Stella Maris Environmental Research, which is “a 501(c)(3) not for-profit environmental research organization focused on bringing attention and solutions to current environmental issues with community action”. They are located at 155 Duval St, Melbourne Beach, 32951, which according to Zillow is a 1800 Square Feet 4 bedroom, 2 bath single family home. It’s a residence.

• The Space Coast Symphony Orchestra. Really? The symphony orchestra? I guess there’s no Beethoven for us.

• Flomazin Lifestyle Apparel. According to their website, “Flomazin is the Florida based lifestyle brand that drives your passion to manifest your dreams and live your best life.” Guess who can’t live their best life? The address that we need to stay 1000 feet away from is 918 Aventine Dr, West Melbourne, 32904, which is an apartment in “Aventine at West Melbourne”, which features one to three-bedrooms with rent ranges from $1,315/mo. to $2,280/mo. Curious to know what kind of recreation is occurring at an online clothing retailer who ironically sells a line called “the Flasher” (https://flomazin.com/products/flasher)? Can’t make this stuff up!

• How about Cape Canaveral Scientific, Inc., a grant writing company that “specializes in solving stormwater and water resource problems by leveraging and acquiring supplemental grant and legislative funding for our clients.” How many children are congregating and recreating at a grant writing business? Oh, and their address is 220 Surf Rd, Melbourne Beach, 32951, a 1834 Square Feet single family home with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.

Come on! Brevard is just letting anyone who decides they don’t want someone they consider undesireable coming within 1000 feet to call themselves a “park”. Apparently, in Brevard, the solution to the NIMBY problem is just say you’re a “park” and you get to create an exclusion zone that infringes on the freedom of movement of thousands of people.

A few years ago, Brevard had to pay out $157,500 to settle another FAC-initiated lawsuit. Maybe it’s time for another?