Yesterday, the New York Times reported that the State of Utah just passed the first “white-collar felon” registry. The registry, which would be available online, much like the the sex offender registry is, would enable the public in Utah to be able to know if someone they are considering doing business with, associating with, or just for fun, has committed a white collar crime.

With the devastating impact of recent ponzi schemers, such as Bernie Madoff and Scott Rothstein, Florida needs this registry more than anywhere else. NPR News reported that, “Palm Beach, the ritzy Florida enclave where Madoff had a home and where he found many of his clients, might have been hit harder than any other community.” and Rothstein ran his scheme from Ft. Lauderdale and devastated South Florida.

Florida NEEDS this registry!

The white collar registry should come with restrictions. For example;

  • White-collar registrants should be prohibited from residing or working or going within 2500 feet of any bank, ATM or other “places where people exchange money”
  • They should be required to report all accounts, usernames and other “identifiers” that can potentially be used to communicate with others about money.
  • All credit and debit cards should be stamped with the word “thief” so when they go to use them, everyone will know what they are.
  • Their wallets and drawers and wallets and drawers of their families and employers would be subject to random warrant-less searches to make sure there’s no “extra money” there. Ideally these checks would take place prior to 6AM with swat teams banging on their doors and a patrol car marked “financial crimes bureau” parked in the driveway to ensure the neighbors know what’s up.
  • Anyplace they move or travel to, they should be required to report such changes within 48 hours.
  • When they travel abroad, the US should send a warning email notifying other countries that they are coming so they will deny them entry (or at least give them a hard time), even if it’s a family vacation.
  • When they return to the US they will be detained in customs for an extra hour or so to ensure they get a “thorough check”
  • They MUST report in person at the Sheriff’s office at least twice a year, plus, when they relocate, when they travel, when they change cars (including renting a car even when their roomate changes cars or they get a visitor) or a bunch of other reasons which could easily be updated online but, fuck-it, let’s make them have to take a half-day off work to travel to the inconveniently located registration office to wait in line.
  • Third-party commercial sites can scrape the “official” white collar registry, creating a half-dozen “unofficial registries” which can then extort the registrant for money to remove their image.
  • Also, a bunch of other requirements which are super-vague and will change annually, but failing to do them will result in a THIRD DEGREE FELONY.
  • Require this FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES regardless of whether they stole a piece of gum from the bulk food bin at the supermarket or they orchestrated a multi-billion dollar ponzi scheme.

All white collar criminals are homogenous and they all require the same level of supervision for the rest of their lives! Even if they stole a dollar, they are monsters that will never change.

 

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