For many of our members, life feels hopeless on the registry and rightly so, but some of our members have survival tips that they would like to share with others. These tips will possibly be of no help to some members, but for the sake of those who could benefit from reading how others have been able to improve their situation, even if only in a small way, please be patient as members share what successes they have been able to achieve while on this insane, punitive registry.
Please send additional successes or survival tips to be posted to [email protected]
With regards to having successes, I’ve had a few.
-Law enforcement. I basically take the approach that if I make life easy for them – they’ll make life easy for me. I treat them with respect and courtesy at all times and ask questions and take any steps necessary to prevent alarms or them having to do extra work. My thought is that law enforcement and I have the exact same goal – Do not violate probation/registration. If there is even a 1% chance of violation – then ask. Don’t ever assume.
-I did a lot of research and learned how to start my own business. It’s harder work but at least I didn’t have to worry about doing a background check.
I am a registered sex offender and have been on the registry since 2013. I have been off probation for 3 years. I have also been diagnosed with Asperger’s. I had a job for 7 years and got hired at a new job in February. I own my own home. All my neighbors like me and I am getting married on October 13 of 2023. She knows about my status and knows my history and is ok with what I did. That’s hard to do. The best part is that I got support from my loving family.
I’ve learned who my true friends are.
Out of my former friends, at least one said we could no longer be friends. A few others have quietly backed off and stopped returning my calls. Still others have reached out less frequently, made and kept plans less frequently, been shorter in communication. And some have become “polite persecutors,” as FAC had described.
Yet some have remained fiercely loyal, without hesitating to reach out and consistently unashamed to be seen associating with me.
I finally learned who my real friends are.
And there’s almost no way to tell in advance of a conviction, which friends will be the loyal ones. Some are right-wing, some are left-wing. Some men, some women. Some parents, some childless. Some prominent in the community, some private. Some are even in law enforcement.
So I know on whom to focus my energies and loyalties.
By the way, as someone who’s gotten in touch with his own weaknesses, I can admit that, were the shoe on the other foot, I might be the “polite persecutor” FAC describes. But my conviction has given me the gift of humility.