Dear Abby: My fellow community group member is married to a sex offender
DEAR ABBY: I recently became aware that someone I know through various community groups is married to a man who is on the local sex offender list (involving a child under 13). This information was confirmed by another community group member as we needed to see how it would affect his volunteer status and our location near a school.
I don’t know how to respond to this information. The man is pleasant and friendly. If I had not known this information, I would have suggested he and his wife get together with my husband and other friends. There are no children in my household, so no one would be endangered by his presence.
Should this information about his sex offender status change how I see or respect him? Neither he nor his wife know that I know, and I don’t plan to tell them or anyone else. What are my responsibilities if I see him around children? — ON ALERT IN MICHIGAN
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Is he a sting operation victim?
Here’s a hearing those in Michigan should watch and listen to if they know anybody who was entrapped in one of those fraudulent sting operations.
https://youtu.be/2UIWdZJ5uiQ?si=ONpzHrXF0T_oORQE
This is a Michigan Supreme Court Hearing on entrapment for one of those cases.
You can also look up an amicus brief that was written for that. Look up:
Criminal Defense Attorneys of Michigan’s Amicus Curiae Brief
In support of Jayneel Ravindra Jade
“However, if you see a sex offender in the presence of minor children, you are morally and ethically bound to report it.” Really, Abby!? Morally and ethically required to report it, and to whom? It just gets sillier and sillier.
EdC
Well, I guess I cannot go to church, be on an isle in Walmart when a kid walks by, and the 20 or so kids that live on or visit my street to play, would make me move.
But I experience all of that every day and have little to no issues. The kids don’t bother me, I do not bother them. If merely walking past a kid would get you arrested, we would all be locked up. Just have to be aware of the circumstances and do not get into a situation you cannot get out of, even if it was not your fault.
I live by just getting through THAT day and worry about the next day when it comes.
Something struck me as off right away, so I re-read the statement several times before bothering to sit down and reply.Ignoring the faux Dear Abby reply I couldn’t get past focusing on the question itself..The question is riddled with contradiction. They claim one thing, yet they keep circling back obsessively to something entirely different—like a classic poker tell screaming that the real hand is hidden.
How utterly wonderful it must be to be an American Karen, armed with a juicy piece of gossip and the burning need to broadcast it far and wide. That sanctimonious line about how they would “never dare” air dirty laundry or destroy this couple’s lives? Please. It’s such a paper-thin, transparent lie it’s practically see-through.
Of course this virtuous Karen is dying to splash the scandal across the community. Of course she wants to publicly humiliate the husband, torch his wife’s life, and leave them both in ruins. The actual question dripping beneath all the faux concern is crystal clear:
“How can I most effectively expose this man as an RSO, obliterate his wife in the process, and still paint myself as the noble, moral victim who was just forced to speak up for the greater good?”
Truly, the pinnacle of self-righteous American womanhood. How blessed we all are to witness such moral excellence in action.
@Obvious
That exactly happened to me as well. A lady on my street invited me over to speak with her. She said she had my back and that she understands my pain. Then a week later, ALL of the neighbors knew so I asked the “Nice” lady if she had spread rumors about me, she admitted that someone had to warn the neighbors about me.
I have not spoken to her since, even though several times she asked for help lifting something or other things. I am not a cruel person, but I want nothing to do with her and told her, her sons were abled bodied and could help her when they return home. And I do have a few neighbors who take my charges “In the past” with a grain of salt.
When I mentioned that to my deputy, he agreed I should have nothing to do with her as people like that can make a false allegation and cause major legal issues to get you locked up and off of “Their” street. I do try and be kind to all the neighbors, but some just give dirty looks no matter how nice you are to them.
boy, you hit that on the head exactly……….
And yet on my local news, a 4-time murderer keeps getting out of jail due ruled in-competent to stand trial every time. So, something we did 10, 20 or 40 years ago, puts us on the registry for life and even after we are dead. But this looney toon keeps getting released with Carte Blanc privileges with no consequences. So, I guess his job is a hitman, psychopath, or really mentally ill?
And yet, all of us on the registry, some like myself are from the very first batch in 1997, are for life with little chance to be removed, even after years of contributing to society, taxes, being a homeowner and more.
Dear Abby’s reply was lackluster and filled with knee-jerk falsehoods. Does Abby ever consider that RSOs can have families, too? The poll is disappointing, but allows multiple votes.
What people don’t get is that just because someone is on the registry, that doesn’t automatically bar them from being around children. It’s most likely a condition of probation or parole, but not necessarily a rule after custody ends. Crimes against children is also the assumption when finding out someone is in the registry. Also, knee jerk reactions occur in small minded people when they just find out old news from 20 years ago. This is why soap operas and reality shows still work on the feebleminded. Old news to you is not now an emergency that requires your utmost attention. I guarantee that registrant has already had their lives turned upside down and doesn’t need to be informed by you of your opinion. Best option is to actually treat the registrant as a neighbor as you would anyone else. Be cautious, as with anyone else, but be honest with them and have a normal sit down adult conversation with them, instead of going off half-cocked like a moron. 99% of the people I know outside my immediate circle of family have no idea because I don’t bring it up and I don’t associate with nosy drama people.
Being that he’s on the registry should be known by all within a community and to also let the neighborhood that they DO NOT pose any threat to the general public.
No one on the registry is any more a threat than those not on it. It’s a cure without a disease.
Why does the community need to know ? Especially, if he’s not a threat to the community? What purpose does it serve other than public shaming? I suppose that I need to know that if my neighbor had a DUI twenty years ago. I don’t want to serve him alcohol. He might drink and drive again?
Well, that is more like if someone slapped his wife or his wife slapped her husband 20 years ago and got a probation instead of prison for assaulting his wife or her husband, then everyone in the community should know that and that he or she is not a threat to the everyone’s wife or husband’s face. Wouldn’t that be the case here? Now, if you have a repeated or a violent offender, that would be a different case overall…..in my opinion…
@ Mr. D
That is a contradictory statement. If someone is NOT a threat to the public then there is NO reason to let the public know.