OK guys, I know it must feel like we’re picking on Polk County, Florida a lot, and that is for very good reason. It’s because we are. Polk County has become notorious for their sex offender stings. Whether it’s setting up fake online profiles on adult dating sites to bait and switch naive men or announcing the results of aggressive compliance checks, it’s an absolute guarantee that Sheriff Grady Judd is going to hold a monthly press conference to tout all the “sex crimes” he busted and shame all the “sex predators” he kept away from the poor defenseless children of Polk County.

For once, I would like to read a story where Judd rescued an actual abducted child or busted an actual sex trafficking ring, but I can’t seem to find any. Solve a real sex crime and not a manufactured one, and then I say hold two press conferences. Throw yourself a parade! But until that happens, we’ll continue to call out the shenanigans.

[SIDE NOTE: Today, the Palm Beach Post called out Judd as having “laser-like focus on TV camera lights highlight his tough-guy act”, so apparently we’re not the only ones to notice.]

So last month, in advance of Halloween, we we posted a satirical story called Polk County Pick Em where we challenged our membership to predict whether Judd would do another sting by Halloween, what it would be called, how many people would be busted and whether the catch would include a Disney worker, teacher, etc. Impressively (and I do use the term sarcastically), we didn’t even have to wait until Halloween, because before their detectives could log out of the Grindr account, Judd held another press conference and we had to post Polk County Pick Em II

As Halloween just passed, I know many of you were waiting to see what Shady Grady would come up with for the holiday, so here goes…

The headline in Patch.com (a news site also notorious for their “spooky” sex offender stories around Halloween) reads, “14 Sex Offenders, Predators Arrested In Polk County On Halloween“.  Scary, yes, 14 “sex offenders, predators” arrested on Halloween, but I don’t think 14 is reflective of Judd’s best work and it could just be that people can’t take this seriously anymore because they know these are not sex crimes.

What is scary, however, is the sub-heading on that Patch story. “Polk County detectives spent 176 hours conducting 990 compliance checks.”  176 hours, huh? So just out of curiosity, I went on GlassDoor.com to see what a Polk County detective makes and their detectives earn a respectable $40/hr.  $40 x 176 = $7,040.

Again, had they spent seven thousand, or even seven million dollars and rescued an abducted child from sex slavery, we would be in the front row of the parade, but the results were BS. The arrests were for drug possession (still illegal, but not necessary to call out “sex offenders and predators”) but mostly for technical violations of failing to register something like a vehicle tag. NONE were for actual sexual offenses! ZERO.

Now the County has to spend thousands more in taxpayer money prosecuting these guys and housing them in jail, followed by the months of probation, GPS monitoring, etc., etc… Is it really worthy of the headline and is it really worth even $7?

Why not spin the story another way? “Polk County detectives conducted 990 compliance checks and only arrested 1.4% for petty crimes. These people are incredibly compliant!” Or I have a better idea for Grady Judd. Take your detectives out to a really nice happy hour, buy them a couple rounds of shots on the taxpayers, and call it a DUI operation!

 

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