This past week, several news outlets have republished a story that originated with ProPublica, the theme of which is that certain online dating applications are not screening for persons required to register as sex offenders and that users of those apps are somehow susceptible to sexual assault because of that.
Dallas-based Match Group, seems to have the market cornered when it comes to online dating. They own Match.com, but they also own many popular free sites, such as Plenty of Fish and Tinder. For the paid sites, such as Match, they perform identity and background checks, but for the free sites they can’t justify the cost, so they don’t. But is it really such a big deal now?
Dating websites have been around for a couple decades already and before that there were personal ads in magazines and newspapers. What’s also been around forever has been the inherent risk of meeting up with someone you don’t know under any circumstance. A decade ago we had the “Craigslist Killer” and a century ago we had the “Want Ad Killer”.
A spokesperson for Match pointed out that the 157 (reported cases of sexual assault) “need to be put in perspective with the tens of millions of people that have used [their] dating products.” The same study from which the 157 number was derived, found that “only a fraction of these cases involved a registered sex offender.” Even by the most conservative analysis of those statistics, the percentage would be less than 1/1000th of a percent that a person on the registry will sexually assault someone!
Sure, there’s a very small chance of being sexually assaulted on a dating website, but there’s also the risk of getting robbed or killed. It’s important to be careful when using dating apps, but it’s also important to be careful when meeting someone in a bar, or careful when driving a car. That doesn’t mean people should stop living normally. Realistically and statistically, it’s far more likely that you will meet the person of your dreams (or get “catfished”) on a dating website than anything too tragic happening, so stories like ProPublica’s are a bit absurd.
https://www.cnet.com/news/sex-offenders-on-dating-sites-not-always-possible-to-swipe-left/
Although I agree that church is a good place to meet potential partners, it’s more difficult now to find a real church that hasn’t “screened out” or forsaken registrants.
I’m no longer a believer but when I was, my personal experience just in observing the “single” women in churches is that they are too good for even themselves. I don’t recommend trying to meet your future spouse in a church.
Maestro, I am not trying to disagree with you, but have to say that my husband met me in church. I turned down his first two invitations to have dinner (I hope I was not being too good for myself), but unlike some men I had interacted with, he did not seem to resent me for it. He continued on as just a friend until I finally came to my senses and realized he was a guy I wanted to spend time with — as in the rest of my life.
Sarah, wonderful response! I have much respect for you.
I’m sorry that you had such a bad experience in church. I have not found that to be the situation in my life. I know of several couples who met in church and are now happily married. My church knows my background and accepts me as I am, flaws and all. That pretty much describes us all, truth be known. You have just not found the right church. Not all churches are serving God. Some have morphed from houses of worship into businesses and of course they have to do what must be done to protect their business…Godly purposes be damned.
Very true ….. People want to have their sins wash away. But land on the Registry and the same church members are now holy than thou and treat you worst than unbelievers. I know a lot going to disagree with but I rather go to bar to get an unbeliever woman than go to church and get a godly woman.
At Least, I have to say I had been treated better by other people who have different faiths. The sad part these people don’t believe in God Or Jesus.
And those who do well forget what it means to be a sinner. There is nothing in this world that would get me to step in a Christian church, not even getting off the registry. They sure don’t believe Matthew 25!
Professional married women are attracted to SOs for side friends don’t know what it is didn’t care I’m married now and made up for my 7 years in prison but I’m sure I’m not the only one that notices this. Thanks registry! Down side is is no real long term friends.
Met my wife on a premium dating site. As long as you get counseling and never do that again, I’ll still marry you, she said.
She really took a chance on me and understandably has second thoughts whenever the registry becomes too onerous. But we have two beautiful children, and I am highly involved in their lives, including transport to/from school (but no attendance at school plays).
Without this premium dating site, despite the best efforts of the Florida legislature, these two wonderful children never would have been born.
A lady friend of mine was called by the florida sheriff (SPOT) team advising her to tell me that I must report her name, home address, telephone number, and vehicle registration to SPOT (Pinellas County) sheriff’s office because of her association with me. If she did not comply I would be charged with failure to register as a sex offender and failure to register her information. This was in July 2019
Greg – please contact [email protected] ASAP with the details
I met my wife on an online gaming and chat site. I was on probation with the big black box you had to carry and ankle monitor. Should I have been online, no but that was almost ten years ago. So we go out to eat as a first date. I told her about my charges and stuff. Put the box on the table during dinner. She is crazy because we got married and the date will be ten years in May.
This concern about Registrants using dating apps is having the public look in the wrong direction of the dangers of it’s use.
The only real danger that has been covered in the news were women being scammed by con artists out of money through these dating site.
I have known people all over the country from my days in the Navy and since my retirement. I have spent some time educating them on Florida SO laws. They all believe them to be total ‘BS’…and that includes the victim, my daughter, and my first wife…she wasn’t prepared for Navy life. I doubt that there is anyone more adverse to sex offenses than me. I am probably out of touch with much of today’s society in some of my positions…I believe enticement should be a sex offense. How can our society be one of ladies and gentlemen when we have those running around not being ladies and gentlemen?
I met my spouse on POF our first meeting was at a Target in early evening you can’t get more public than that. Ones own safety should always take priority. Our first date was dinner and a movie at one of the busiest malls in the city when I picked her up I met one of her family members who noted my vehicle information my future spouse didn’t think I noticed but i mentioned it to her a few weeks later I didn’t mind because safety was her priority. I was at the beginning of my legal journey so I told her what was going on with at the end of our second date because I knew I wanted to see her again I explained my side and told her i could prove what I was saying was the truth she could leave at anytime she felt I was being untruthful she went to every attorneys meeting and every court hearing and was present when they tried to force me to take a plea. She visited me in prison regularly and 11 years and 1 child later we are happy as a couple my spouse has been dealing with the registry just as long as I have. The overall point is be responsible for your own safety I wasn’t that’s how I ended up on the registry
My greatest shock in your story is that you met through POF. My experience on POF is nothing but fake profiles or women who do a couple of one liner sentence conversation and then disappear.
I met my current GF through an interracial dating site that, to my knowledge, does not do background checks. But I did start my subscription with them long before my offense and for $75 (back then) I got a lifetime membership. And yes, we’re an age gap relationship. She’s 22. I told her everything when we met in person when I flew her up north to attend a movie fan event in PA. Then I visited her in FL from Xmas to New Years of 2018-19.
The membership on that site stayed open all throughout my probation and registration period of 10 yrs. I went back on the site when my probation (and registration) ended last summer and met my current GF who lives in FL and where I moved to. The site allows you to deactivating your profile without actually deleting it and your membership continues on.
I didn’t know about the registration requirements for other states because – who thinks of that when you’re OFF the registry? The idea is that you’ve earned back ALL your freedoms.
I’m thinking of speaking to some attorneys in case anything happens.
I mentioned in another comment on this site that I found an attorney’s site that helps in fighting to not have to be put on FL’s registry if you’ve completed your registry BEFORE moving there.
I’ve also found the exact same information in FL law on FL’s website. So…. unless they’re lying about the offense and registration being in another district, it SHOULD be of use.
This was 11 years ago I have no clue what POF is like today
I met my wife on a dating app, okcupid. Weve been married 2 years and together for 3 years. Im 31. I was 18 when i got my sentence, back when limewire was huge and cp was all over it and was easily accessible, even if by accident. I never touched a child and explained that and my whole situation to her before we had sexual relations. She understood and thought it was bullshit that i had to deal with what i do for that. But i was honest with her. The surprising thing ive found is most women will listen and may even have empathy as long as you arent the stalker creeper who plays with little children, and are honest about what happened. There are so many extenuating circumstances in our cases, that there cant be a one size fits all punishment. Either way, she fell for me and i for her, and weve been together 3 years, happily married for 2, have good jobs and just bought a nice house this year. I almost feel normal. Until im reminded of my past when the detective rolls up, or i see news articles about s.o. tracking apps, or i have to go register. Or we consider taking a vacation and then i try to navigate all the stupid restrictions and reporting requirements that we decide not to go anywhere. Then add on we wanna have kids, and all i think about is what will they deal with in school, what will i have to deal with when theyre born, like getting kicked out of the hospital, etc.
I met my current spousal unit on Yahoo Personals before they were bought by Match. Been together 11 years already. She checked me out before we met and she just wanted to see if I’d be honest with her about being on the registry. That was it.
Fortunately I have never had to rely on the internet to meet people for dating purposes. I prefer to know someone face to face before dating. I would hope that applies to anyone who would date me. It’s difficult to believe that people are that socially hard up that they can’t be a part of groups where people get to know each other. Church groups are a good place to start…the local ‘watering hole’ is not.
The internet is anonymous. which works for some of us introverts we all don’t possess the Gift of Gab It also reaches a larger audience and lastly you can screen by whatever criteria is important to you instead of wasting hours of conversation only to find out you are totally not interested in the person and you just waisted 3 hours of your life you can’t get back so online dating has its place but beware terms of service mean jack sh#!
Fortunately I enjoy conversation. I rarely am looking for a long term relationship just through conversation. I believe God wants us to not only be a ‘mouth’ but an ‘ear’. We can be of service to others just by listening. At my age I am just looking for friends and good conversation.
Agreed. True that it’s kinda fun to mingle in person but for one – you don’t know if the person is even single and available or if you fit THEIR type. This is where it’s a little easier online. Plus, on dating sites it seems no one has an issue about blabbing to the world that they smoke weed, and I don’t want to be with a stoner. So sifting through profiles (provided the person tells something interesting about themselves) is easier. My current GF is an artist. That fits my lifestyle so it worked out.
I’d just like to point out that the POLICE place ads to trap innocent would be daters, on sites where people assume adults only would be, into saying something incriminating that they coerce, twist, and entice out of the user. More likely than a would be attacker stalking the dating site is the professionally trained law enforcement agent looking to get paid by calling anyone they can a ‘Predator’!
Now that’s F*&^$ed up!
Absolutely true and a point I overlooked in my post!
It is absurd, and an absolute outrage. The government used Craigslist in Washington state to ensnare and entrap almost 300 people now using an ADULTS ONLY website to entrap innocent men (and women) . And in Washington state, there’s a mandatory minimum sentence of 58.5 months to LIFE in prison. No victim, no child ever, never possible of commission … yet the average sentence for these people in Washington state is roughly 7 and a half years in prison. And. … a $100,000.00 per conviction given in federal grant money. Washington state needs FAC and all who are on it to write governor Inslee, all the legislators that they can find and make these heanous sentencing rules gone for good. Without out voices, this issue will do nothing but continue. Washington state and the people who have been entrapped illegally need for their, and your voices to be heard so that hopefully change can occur.
Washington state also carries a minimum 10 year registration if you get lucky and get the communication w a minor charge. Which is a gross misdemeanor charge, somehow now being turned into a felony. And if you are charged with any other offense, it’s registration for life. No victim, no child, nothing but a lie from the government. And the rest of your and your families life is ruined. They now use those sites you mention to conduct these stings. Facebook. ..Badoo is a site where many people have now been entrapped by law enforcement agencies. Oh, and let’s not forget that the entrapment defense strategy is not allowed to be heard or used in a court of law. Our criminal justice system at its finest.
I used craigslist before. It was free, and i had success with one woman i dated for a year. But i also responded to a police sting ad unknowingly, and as soon as they mentioned the age i told them they were a cop and told them to f*** off and that they were pieces of sh** for what theyre doing. They ended up saying they were looking for someone for their younger sister to show her her first time. It was f***ed up. The post initially said something around 20 for age, then the whole story twisted with the sister thing then changing the age. I was 24 when i responded to this ad and i remember it to this day, im 31 now and my charge was for cp when i was 18 because of using limewire.
I’ve been saying the same thing about Facebook for as long as I can remember. How many assaults by registrants had the slightest involvement with Facebook? Guessing very few (like, single digits) if any. Out of 2 BILLION Facebook users, that seems pretty negligible.
There could be 1,000 unregistered people that commit sexual assaults and you won’t hear a word about it. Let one person on the registry commit a sexual assault and they would jump on it like a Vulture on roadkill!